My friend and fellow dharma teacher Jacoby Ballard reminded me in a morning email:
“Today is Trans Day of Visibility, March 31. Trans lives are so important: the real contours of our lives, the 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows about being trans, how radiant and free we are, how we challenge assumptions and confines of our society. Trans visibility is about recognizing the beauty, brilliance, liberation, and possibility that trans people bring to everyone. Cis people are more free because we exist. So please, celebrate this day with me, with us.”
Jacoby had me wondering why this Trans Day of Visibility 2026 has me feeling more trans than I’ve ever felt. How important it felt for me to be “radiant and free” in my particular beyond-gender body. I felt charged to write — join me in today’s internal exploration?
My beard started growing in as part of the changes of perimenopause, rather than an active choice to betray gender norms. I’ve had stray facial hairs since my 20s. It didn’t seem that weird — more than one aunt had learned to sport her strays rather than be too stressed about managing her daily appearance. I had a particular aunt who I’m embarassed to say tolerated some terribly mean teases about her mustache. (Sorry Aunt Norma, I wish someone had taught me better about the devastating impacts of gender and body shaming).
I’d had a few years to downsize my body shame by the time the changes of perimenopause hit at age 40. While I had plucked stray hairs for a couple of decades, when they started growing in patches, I decided to try out just letting them be. I’d go through cycles where I would get emotionally hurt by something, and need to pluck them all out or cut them back to the skin. Those cycles would grow farther apart every time, as I began to feel more confident, even gender sassy in my beard.
Ten years later, I rock the full short beard as part of my otherwise rather femme gender presentation without much thought. It probably helps to live in “Keep It Weird” Portland, where my beard feels like an added feature, rather than a problem to be solved.
My bearded femme look was certainly gender-queering for me. I was grateful for the queerdos who came before me, leaving their hard-earned wisdom and self-care that my growing beard simply didn’t need to be a problem in a world that didn’t expect me to be one gender or the other.
I have both sexy cleavage and a hairy chin — so what?
Photo description: A closeup selfie of Dawn looking directly in the camera. Their face takes up more than half the image, with a gentle smile, wavy brown hair, teal ombre funky shaped glasses and her brown beard and mustache centering the shot. The curves on the top half of their body are extra squished in the shot, a lot of skin and cleavage with a single lacy pink strap visible on her left shoulder
It certainly helps to live in a time where bearded femme is represented on some grand scales - I mean, who doesn’t have a crush on ALOK and their gender fabulousness?
The last few years, I’ve had a genderqueer, genderfluid identity. Internally, I still feel femme-oriented — I felt empowered and happy in my body when I’m wearing a dress that shares the curves of my chest. Externally, I’m aware that people might perceive my cleavaged beard as genderfuckery — and simply moving through the world, I risk the projection of their gender confusion onto my body and identity. Internally, I’m a gender creative person, assigned female at birth and who doesn’t feel too stressed about my gender expression; externally, I’m … what? I would guess people perceive me through a range of lenses - a woman who doesn’t care about her appearance; a gender confused person; or perhaps trans.
I’ve watched myself play with gender descriptions across this post. Why do I take delight in this gender play? Why not claim my trans visibility?
Perhaps I’ve gotten stuck on believing there’s a certain “internal why” that defines trans identity — I’m supposed to feel a certain discomfort in my gender, to the point that I make active choices to change how I present myself. And that’s certainly one of our most familiar stories of being trans, and I feel for my friends who have this particularly devastating gender suffering.
Yet when I think about trans identity as formed from the external ways that others view me — it seems pretty obvious to claim trans identity in resistance the discrimination and violence that haters will be more than happy to direct my way. Trans people have been written off as an abomination under Donald Trump’s leadership. In this political climate, in receiving this external view, I find myself more trans-identified than I’ve ever been in my life. When I feel the threat of hate and violence right outside my door, I’m hungry to find my people who will look out for me, have my back, and share their pathways to surviving. And remembering that we aren’t only surviving, it is our embodied radiance and freedom that reminds the whole world that whatever the repression, we can always choose joy.
I wish I could join my friends with the Buddhist Peace Fellowship this weekend for The Joy of Clear Seeing — I’m so bummed it’s landing right when I’m hosting another meeting. Maybe you can go for me? Whether you identify as trans or any other gender, you are invited if you love and hold trans people in sacred reverence.
I’d delight for this world to be filled right now with people of all genders who know in their bones how to move from joyful radiant clarity in our resistance and love. May the teachings received for today’s Trans Day of Visibility, this weekend at The Joy of Clear Seeing, and rippling to all points beyond bring great release to the suffering of all trans people, and great freedom for all people to choose radiance.
Photo description: A red graphic with background wave forms, and photos of teachers sam rise, Tenzin Mingyur Paldron, Vivian Su and JD Doyle, lifting up our Saturday April 4th online day of practice, "The Joy of Clear Seeing: A Meditation and Dharma Art Celebration of Trans Day of Visibility." Graphic design: Candi Martinez.
Love this post! I have wondered if I am trans nonbinary enough, and maybe that's not a salient question. Also, on a different note, love that photo! Oolala!